


In Between

by shannyfish



Series: In Truth [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: DrivingCanary, F/M, Foundry, Gen, In Truth, Olicity mentioned, Team Arrow, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-20 23:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2447009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Sara/Diggle (DrivingCanary) moments that can fit into "In Truth'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Into The Wild

**Author's Note:**

> I will try to make sure that I cite the chapters that it could take place within or in between. Also, I'm using SmoaknArrow's prompts from Olicity flash fiction for this! 
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter would take place between 13 & 14 of "In Truth".

"Do you REALLY think Oliver is out here?" 

"Honestly, I have no idea," Sara told him.

They'd gone on a 'road trip'. It really wasn't much of one. They were looking for Oliver in the nearest wooded area. Sara had found a report from a park ranger claiming that he'd seen a man that matched Oliver's description that seemed to be living in the woods, but that he'd been too quick for him to catch. Everything pointed to Oliver. Sara had figured that it was sort of like Lian Yu, except it was a lot closer and filled with so many less ghosts.

"I guess, at least we're out of the Foundry…"

"I'm sure our eyes appreciate not being behind a computer screen for a couple of hours," Sara added. She smiled at John as they both walked along. It had been hard, hard on both of them. They'd been spending practically every minute of the day together since Felicity and Thea had disappeared...and it seemed like even more so after Oliver vanished too. They weren't giving up...not on any of them. Sometimes it seemed like they were never going to find any of them, but Sara knew that they couldn't give up. 

Everyone had thought that she and Oliver were dead in the North China Sea...and then they'd both turned up years later...alive. Sara didn't know what had happened with Felicity and Thea, but they were going to find them...and they'd find Oliver. She knew not to be surprised if Oliver found them first. 

"It's beautiful here."

John's voice snapped her out of her observation of the area and thoughts. Sometimes Sara found it hard to concentrate on things that normal people concentrated on. To focus on the moment and what was going on rather than thinking of it all...of thinking about how she blamed herself for Oliver leaving and Felicity and Thea being taken. "Yeah," she breathed and let out a sigh.

"You've been unusually quiet…" 

"I should have said something, the moment that I realized that Isabel Rochev was Talia al Ghul," Sara told him. She had wondered if he blamed her, but Sara was fairly sure that she and John were on the same level. He would have come out and instantly blamed her, if that's what he believed. He was a soldier and he seemed to understand her thoughts...for the most part anyways. "I--I--I think I just got emotional and--"

"Hey, you don't have to explain yourself to me," John told her. He gave her a comforting smile and seemed to make it okay to end the conversation.

It still nagged at her, though, because she blamed herself. It was one thing to lose her relationship with Oliver, in all honesty...Sara had never imagined it going far. It was more a relationship of familiarity and comfort, she loved Oliver, but she'd never intended on becoming Mrs. Oliver Queen. "But Felicity and--"

"Did you know she was working with Slade?"

"No--"

"Well, then stop blaming yourself, Sara."

"Oliver blames me."

"Oliver does a lot of stupid things."

Sara shook her head. "It's not stupid to blame me, I wasn't honest and forthcoming--"

"Hey, I get it… You've been through a lot and you're not exactly used to living in this world again," John told her. "You trust us, but...we're not quite home or family."

Stopping, Sara stared at him when he stopped and turned to look at her. "John, that's the problem. I feel like this is home...you guys are my family… That's why I feel so guilty…" She shook her head. "I think Felicity's adorable and...and she reminds me of myself before the Queen's Gambit…"

"Sara--"

Tears filled her eyes and she shook her head. "It may sound horrible, but I feel more at home and more like family with all of you than I do with my own family…"

"That's not true," he told her. "Your dad--"

"Okay, so...it's mainly Laurel...and I mean, I can't blame her--"

John pulled her into his arms and it took her a moment to relax and to wrap her arms around his body as well. Sometimes embraces were so foreign to her. Sara held on, though, and let some of the tears fall. "You've got a family, Sara. You may have think that you've burned bridges...but you haven't… We're going to find Oliver...and Thea and Felicity… We'll bring them all home… You'll see. Things will fall back into place."

"Well, almost everything," she told him. Sara put on a smile though and spoke before he could. "But it's for the best, you know? Oliver and I...we were never going to work out…" She sighed. "Ever since I came back, I could see something between them…"

"Oliver and Felicity?"

Sara nodded. She wasn't sad or really jealous about it. There had been a moment of jealousy when Talia had made claims about Felicity and Oliver, but Sara knew it wasn't real… She was reacting, or rather non-reacting, more out of shock...and out of the realization that without Oliver...she'd be alone again. Sara could be alone, but there was something so much more comforting when you had a partner in life...even if it was just a close friend. Maybe that's why she and John had been fine since everything had happened, even with living together. They were good together. They understood each other and it seemed...Oliver. "Is he ever going to tell her?"

"Doubt it."

"When we find them, if he hasn't told her...we better find a way to do it."

Diggle chuckled and shook his head. "It better be subtle…"

"I'm sure we'll figure out something…"

They walked for a while in silence. They had kept their eyes opened, but still they didn't see any sign of Oliver. Sara had noticed that John kept checking his watch. Really, they shouldn't be gone for too long. They'd set the Foundry up, so that they would get an alert their phones if he returned...but that was only if Oliver tripped what they'd set up. There was also the fact that they'd been the ones patrolling...and as it got darker, they needed to get into their routine too. 

"I keep thinking that he'll call," Sara said. 

"Yeah, me too," John replied. "But it's Oliver...and you know as well as I do...he's gotten a little too used to knowing how to operate without using his phone or his credit cards...or anything else that may flag our attention."

Sara knew exactly what he meant. It was easy to go off the grid after you were so used to it. If you were used to it, then it was almost easier than living on it… Oliver needed his space and she wondered if they should just give it to him. They could still keep checking hospitals and everything, but she had a feeling that he'd come home when he was ready. "Maybe we should just focus on keeping the city safe and looking for Felicity and Thea…"

"And babysitting Roy?"

A laugh escaped her, she couldn't help it. It wasn't just the two of them in the Foundry, it was also a brooding Roy. The Mirakuru made him dangerous, especially to the Foundry. There were holes in cement and things were broken and all Sara could think every time she passed them was 'Felicity is going to be pissed'. "I think Roy prefers when we consider it 'training'," she reminded. "And you have to admit, John, Roy having some training would be a GOOD thing."

"He needs the discipline and self control first."

He wasn't wrong.

"You know, we've talked about me...but we haven't talked about you," Sara said after a few minutes of silence. She knew that they were getting to the point where they were going to have to turn around. "How are you doing with...everything?" she asked as she looked over at him. Sara knew that it wasn't just looking for Oliver, Thea, and Felicity or even taking up watching over the city...he'd just broken up with Lyla before it had all happened.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"You and Lyla broke up--"

"I remember," Digg responded and shook his head. 

"Come on, John, you can talk to me," Sara told him. "It's apparently 'share your feelings' day." She watched as he smiled brighter and had a pretty good idea that it had worked. 

"I'm hanging in there, okay?" he spoke up after a minute. He looked at her and the smile was still on his face. "It helps having you around, especially with all the chaos…"

Sara grinned. "It's like playing house," she teased. "We're the parents and Roy's our kid…"

"He's adopted, right? We can take him back?"

Laughing, Sara shook her head. "I think he's a good kid...you know, once you get past his whole emo-ish attitude, but you know...his girlfriend is missing… And don't forget the MIrakuru… If Sin's life was going to crap, I'm pretty sure she'd be the same way."

"Except the Mirakuru…"

"Let's not wish that on anyone."

Diggle smiled. "Maybe we could trade Roy for Sin…"

"Believe me, she'd be all for it...but I think then Roy would be pouting like a little puppy who's gotten kicked out of the house…"

"Maybe he just needs a friend then."

"So...be his FRIEND, John."

She'd actually thought about asking about bringing Sin in on things, but at the same time...she wasn't sure if she really wanted to bring her into that life. Sure, she was already in danger on a day to day basis in the Glades, but she knew how to handle herself there. Sara didn't know if she could forgive herself if anything happened to her 'little sister', especially after the promise she'd made to her father. 

"If Oliver's here...then I'm thinking we're not going to find him, at least not today," Diggle finally said as he turned back to Sara. "Let's head back...and think about dinner…"

"Please no fast food…"

"Does a diner count as fast food?"

Sara looked over at him with raised eyebrows. "It depends… Is it someplace we normally eat at?"

"No," John replied. "I was thinking of that place up the road… My treat."

"I'd like that."

John smiled. "Then it's a date."

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


	2. Drinking Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt - Game On
> 
> Takes place while Oliver is gone and Felicity, Thea, & Tommy are still kidnapped by Merlyn.

“You know what we need to do?”

“Sleep?”

“Well, that IS a good idea,” Diggle said with a smile as he shook his head.

Sara beamed at him. All of the work they’d been doing in the Foundry had left them both completely exhausted. They’d not been living together too long now, but it was an easy thing. She’d thought that it was something that would be really awkward and would affect them severely since they were pretty much ALWAYS together. She’d been wrong. It was a happy type of wrong. John Diggle was a good man. He was a man who made her happy naturally, like breathing air. Digg made her feel like everything in her past that was dark and ugly never happened…or just that it didn’t matter. He saw past all of that. 

“I was going to suggest we do something fun.”

She liked the sound of that.

“Tell me more,” Sara insisted. 

Things were certainly not fancy with them. 

Since moving in together, their days were fairly routine without everyone around. They got up and somehow they got ready without being in each other’s way. Breakfast was coffee, a bagel, and a piece of fruit that they picked up on the way into the Foundry. Roy would always try to steal some of it, but by then they’d send him out to go and pick up lunch while they continued to research and try to track leads (that always ended up leading nowhere). Once they’d hit the point where they couldn’t think, they’d head home and eat whatever was handy before vegging out on the couch until they went to bed.

“Drinking game.”

“Drinking game?” Sara echoed. “How exactly is this drinking game going to work?”

“Let’s pick a show.”

“The Walking Dead.”

Diggle seemed to think a minute. “I haven’t seen that one. It’s the one with the zombies, right?”

Sara nodded. “I mean, I haven’t seen it either. I saw a commercial for it the other day and thought it looked interesting.” She paused a moment as she looked over at him. “You know, we don’t exactly have cable in Nanda Parbat.”

He was instantly laughing. “That’s true.”

“So, how is this game going to work?” Sara asked.

John was up off of the couch and moving into the kitchen, Sara folded her legs underneath her and watched her as he moved. He was gathering glasses and appeared to be deciding on the exact alcohol they’d be using for this drinking game. “It can’t be when we see zombies because that would just be too easy…they'd likely be drunk in ten minutes.”

“Maybe we need to watch an episode before we decide exactly how this game should work,” Sara suggested. “That doesn’t mean that we can’t drink while we watch it though…I mean, the zombie apocalypse is probably far more entertaining while drunk. Just saying.”

“It might make it easier for us to watch and not tell them all the things they’re doing wrong,” Diggle agreed as he set down the glasses and the liquor. 

“Good to know that you talk to the TV,” Sara teased as Diggle took a seat next to her.

Diggle grinned. “You can’t tell me that you’ve never watched something and then yelled at them for doing something completely stupid…or holding a weapon incorrectly.”

He had a point. Sara imagined that that wasn’t easy for people who actually KNEW how to survival and handle weapons properly. “Good point.”

“So?”

“So? When do we start this?”

This was probably the most normal thing they’d attempted to do in a long time. They worked hard, but that was just how they were. Normal wasn’t really a world that they could live in. They needed the work. The needed the darkness, to chase it. They needed a mission. They needed it, because it brought them both hope for the future. For a better future.

“Do you regret it?” Diggle questioned as he poured the alcohol into the shot glasses. 

That caught her off guard. Sara’s mind tried to scramble at the meaning of his words. There were so many things in her life that she regretted and some that she wished that she regretted, but she just couldn’t. “What?”

“The League of Assassins. Nanda Parbat.”

“I miss Nyssa sometimes.”

“But not the rest?”

“Not the killing, no,” Sara told him as she leaned forward and picked up the shot. “It darkens your soul, you know? A piece at a time…”

“I get that.”

“Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a soul anymore…that being in the League has destroyed it.”

“You have a soul, Sara,” Diggle told her confidently.

There was something with how he said it. It caught her attention and she found herself staring at him for a long moment before she held up the shot glass, like a toast. “To saving our souls.” Diggle raised his glass slightly before they both drank. She set it down and John was immediately filling it back up. Maybe it was because those that Oliver had pulled close and formed a team with had already accepted him, the person that he’d become after everything he’d been through on Lian Yu (the good, the bad, the ugly, and the amazing), but Sara had no idea how to be any more thankful for the little family they had formed. Which is why it was even more important to bring it back together. For it to be whole once again. To ask forgiveness. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

A couple of episodes later…

 

“I’m surprised that guy has lasted so long,” Sara commented. 

“Yeah, me too,” Diggle agreed. “I would have kicked him out of that camp a long time ago…or just taken care of things myself.”

“He threatens the safety of EVERYONE in that camp. Just because he’s so far only hitting his wife and kid doesn’t mean that he’ll contain his anger to just them, which is SO WRONG to begin with,” Sara said. “How did HE survive the freaking apocalypse?”

“I guess we just have to hope that he gets killed soon.”

“He better or I might stop watching,” Sara said honestly. She knew that in this world violence was necessary, but violence against women and children…against innocents. That kind of violence, it needed to end. No woman should suffer at the hands of men. That included Carol and her screwed up (needed to be dead) abusive husband, Ed. “Maybe we should start drinking for every clearly stupid mistake they make.”

Diggle seemed to think about that for a moment and then tilted his head before filling the glasses again. “I guess that IS slightly less for every zombie that shows up.”

“Right?” Sara asked. “I guarantee you, we’d make less stupid mistakes than they would…even with all the shots we’re going to end up taking.”

He laughed at that and they both downed their shots. “Does that mean you’re up for another episode?”

“It’s not like we HAVE to be at the Foundry at a set time tomorrow, right?”

“That’ll throw Roy for a loop.”

Sara shrugged. “Time outside of the Foundry will do us good, right? Maybe we’ll think clearer tomorrow.”

“Especially after another shot,” Diggle said as he poured again. 

The next episode started and it seemed like the bottle was going to need to be replaced soon enough. Sara’s head was on Diggle’s shoulder and his arm was around her. There was something so nice about that moment. Something so nice about just being with John Diggle. As Sara sat there, thinking about how good it was to feel normal for an evening, all she could think about how so far…that had all led back to the man with his arm around her. 

Was that because of all the shots?

Because he was really the only one there with her?

Or something else?

Something more?

“We need to sleep,” he brought up and she realized that his fingers were lazily moving through the strands of her hair. The more he touched her, the more she realized how much she wanted him…how much she didn’t want to let go of those intimate moments. “Come to bed.”

Sara just stared at him.

“We’re adults…and the couch has to be uncomfortable…”

“John—“

There was so much staring going on, Sara had completely tuned out what was happening on the TV. The whole show could be ending with everyone being massacred and all Sara could see was John Diggle staring back at her. The world was just the two of them. She leaned in and found her lips against his. He didn’t seem to fight it, though, and almost instantly kissed her back. Arms tangled and the kissing didn’t stop. 

Maybe John was right. Maybe they could both be ‘adults’ in his bed. Right now, she didn’t care if it was the alcohol. Right now, nothing seemed more right. Sara was fairly sure if she regretted this in the morning, it would be the kind that she really wouldn’t regret…unless it seriously screwed up everything. 

Screw it all.

“We should stop,” Diggle spoke between kisses.

“Should we?”

No.

Stopping definitely wasn’t necessary.

He seemed to agree because he was lifting her up, so that her legs were wrapped around his torso as they headed to the bedroom, lips still battling. No matter what happened…Sara was certain that neither one of them was going to regret what was about to happen. 

They needed this.

They needed each other.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	3. Relationships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Too Far, Too Fast

“Sara?”

John’s voice was clear as day, but Sara didn’t respond, instead she just kept typing away. In the last hour, she’d been following a lead. She had expected it to go nowhere fast or at least to just lead nowhere… In all honesty, though, there were no promises and there was absolutely no reason why this lead made sense. All of that, she knew, but it seemed like why not chase after any lead and every lead? Did it matter if it was crazy?

“Sara?”

The man that she was looking into, he was supposed to be dead. It didn’t make sense to everyone else, but to Sara…it was a definite possibility. At first, she’d thought that she was just letting her mind see an option (no matter whether it made sense or not), but then she had thought she had been hallucinating in that moment. The man that she’d thought she had seen, he was supposed to be dead.

Malcolm Merlyn.

Al Sa-her.

The Magician. 

Merlyn had trained with the League of Assassins before her time with them. Sara had learned many things while training in Nanda Parbat, one of which was that sometimes…death was an illusion. As much as she hoped that he was really dead, she felt the need to keep looking into things. It was something, though there really wasn’t much of anything to go on. 

“Sara? Why the hell didn’t you answer me?”

He sounded more irked than upset with her. Bless him. John Diggle was a patient and kind man, but he was also someone who worried. Sara was still used to doing things on her own and in truth, her getting closer to John had made her feel the need to revert a bit. She really didn’t know how to explain that to him without him feeling like it was an insult…or well, something that would definitely make her lose him. Right now, Sara just felt like she needed a little bit of space. 

Too far, too fast.

It was true.

It was also a lie.

Had they gone too far, too fast? Yes. No. Sara didn’t know. John Diggle had been the first real pretty healthy relationship she’d had with a man…ever…in her life. Nyssa had actually been the closest to a healthy relationship she’d had. All of those boys she’d dated growing up…and even Oliver…none of those relationships had really been healthy. But John, he was unlike any other man in the world. He was true, kind, loving, intelligent…and so many things. 

It scared her. 

“Sorry,” she said as she closed out the window. The project she’d been doing, the file that had included so many things about Merlyn and anything in his family’s name that had moved at all in the last few months, she’d flagged. Right now, Sara wasn’t ready to share that with John. Turning around in the computer chair, she found him standing there. “I—I just couldn’t go home…not yet…all I keep thinking is that Felicity and Thea are out there… That Oliver’s likely doing stupid things…”

“It’s Oliver.”

“And as much as we love him, he NEEDS us,” Sara reminded. “He needs us to help keep him on the right path…and to keep him grounded.”

John smiled. “You make him sound like a teenager.”

Sara shrugged. 

“Of course, we talk about Roy like he’s four.”

“He is.”

John laughed. “Don’t let him know that.”

“I just…”

He was all serious all of the sudden. “It’s things are too fast, Sara—“

God, why could he read them all so well? She and Felicity had previously discussed this. It was like John Diggle’s super power, being able to read people so well…almost like he possessed some kind of telepathy. “I just—“ Sara sighed and ran her fingers along her scalp. “I just…I guess I got scared…”

“Scared of what?”

“Of you waking up,” Sara stated matter of factly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “That you’ll realize that our relationship isn’t one that you want to be in…that—“

“You really need more sleep if you think that what’s between us is something that might vanish overnight,” John told her. “Sara, I’m going to be here. I’m not going to just leave…and I’m not just going to give up on whatever is between the two of you…you know I care about you.”

“I care about you too.”

It was suddenly so serious, almost TOO serious.

John smirked. “Plus, who else am I going to get to binge watch entire shows with me?”

Better.

“Roy?” she teased innocently.

“He’s four! All of that stuff is inappropriate!”

Sara just laughed. God, he was such a good man. She was so glad that he made things easy. Now, if they could just get their friends back…so everything could fall back into place and Sara had to do less grasping at strings.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	4. Together, Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Alone With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt

“Okay, I'm out…unless we’re having pizza…”

“We’re not having pizza,” Sara said. Roy looked disappointed, like they’d denied him dinner (which technically they had…but he could buy his own pizza). “Digg should be back soon…and we both ate a late lunch, so we were just going to have leftover spaghetti when we got home…”

“So…I guess it’ll just be you and Diggle…alone,” Roy said slowly.

Sara smirked. Roy was adorable. It was probably one of the reasons why whenever they DID discuss him (when he wasn’t around, of course), they discussed him as if he were four. He was like this little child who spazzed whenever their parents kissed in front of them (or in public). “Yep, the two of us…alone…together…” she told him as she crossed her legs as she sat in the computer chair. Roy was always amusing when he got like this.

“You two should just get to the point where you just make the jump,” Roy practically complained. “Take a trip to Vegas…get married at a chapel by Elvis…”

“That’s quite the jump.”

“Let’s be honest, you two are good together,” Roy said. “I’ll admit it, it was sort of weird when you two first got together…you know…because Oliver and you…and then Lyla and Diggle… I thought maybe it was just rebound sex or something like that…but you two are rather amazing together…”

“I’m mostly sorry that Digg didn’t get to hear you say that,” Sara quipped. She slowly swayed the chair back and forth as she watched Roy. The chair stopped suddenly and sadness filled Sara almost instantly as she was suddenly reminded of how Felicity did the same thing. 

God, Felicity…

Felicity Smoak hadn’t been Sara’s friend for long, but she instantly understood what everyone saw in her. She was a shining light. Light. Ever since the Queen’s Gambit, Sara had longed for that kind of light…she’d thought that she was going to forever live in darkness…but then Oliver sparked something inside of her. For a while, she thought that had to do with Oliver, but then she realized…it was never Oliver. It was Felicity Smoak (and John Diggle). The people that had come into his life when he’d returned from Lian Yu and five years of hell…the people who had changed him into a man that she didn’t even recognize at first…because he was better because of them. Just like she was better because of them.

Thea…

Thea Queen had been like a sister to her. Well, another sister. Though, she DID feel the same way about Felicity. Sara was just closer to Thea. They’d grown up together…all of them. Maybe that’s why she felt like she failed her more. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” she said as she snapped out of it. “Though, I AM looking forward to being alone.”

“Come on, we’re never alone…”

And he was right.

They never were.

They were family.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

“I like this time of our day.”

“You mean when we’re tired, but also starving?”

Diggle smiled at her. “That and…when there’s no child around…”

“You missed the conversation he was having about us earlier…” 

“Is it one where it creepily makes us sound like his parents?” Diggle questioned. 

Sara laughed out loud. Their relationship with Roy since it had just been the three of them for so long had really become this very special (and sometimes creepy) family relationship. Both of them felt bad, though, because they’d lost friends…but Roy, he felt like he’d lost absolutely everything. Sure, Roy had them…but Thea (his girlfriend) and Oliver (his mentor) were both gone and he was just left with them. At least she and had John. 

“He said that we were perfect for each other and that we should head over to a chapel in Vegas and get married by Elvis.”

“I’m really not one to get married by Elvis…”

“I actually really haven’t thought about getting married in general for years…” Sara told him truthfully. She turned her chair so that they were face to face with him. “You know…with Nyssa…it was just good enough that we were together…that was it. Here in this world, people make such a huge deal about relationship statuses and making things official—“

“I don’t have a facebook, so you don’t have to worry about me asking if we’re facebook official,” John told her with a smirk.

“Well, that’s a relief,” she teased “But you know what I mean, right? I mean…it’s probably not been since college that I really thought about getting married…”

“To Oliver?”

Sara blushed a bit. “Yes, I admit it, I DID think about being Mrs. Sara Queen.” She shrugged. “I’m not complaining or anything…when I think about my life back then…even though I wasn’t a kid…I was like Roy’s age…and you know, right now…it does feel like I was more like four then…”

“Like it was another life?”

Nodding, she loved the fact that he understood things like that so well. “Exactly.”

“I was married before—“

“To Lyla?”

“To Lyla,” he confirmed with a nod. “And we could only make it work in war…”

“I entertained the idea of it earlier,” Sara said. “I just don’t know if I’m the kind of person who would be good in a permanent fixed relationship...not that I can’t be monogamous…it’s just…I’m afraid somehow…I’ll sabotage it…”

“Even with the right person?”

Sara stared at him. They were so good together. “I don’t know,” she admitted honestly. “I almost worry that I would self sabotage worse…afraid that it was really the real thing…afraid that I’d be the one to screw things up later on…”

“You never have to be scared with me, Sara.”

“John—“

“I'm serious,” he told her firmly, yet gently. “You never have to be scared of breaking something…because we’re going to work through it… You and I are going to talk… That doesn’t have to mean wedding bells…it can just mean living together and going on with life…but I’m okay with that, if you are…”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	5. Chocolate Bar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Red Handed

“I can’t believe that you’ve been blaming poor Roy!”

“Sometimes Roy IS the one who eats it,” Sara pointed out as she continued to eat the chocolate bar. She didn’t care that Diggle had caught her eating her. Did he REALLY need the chocolate bar he’d stashed in the foundry for himself? Sara was pretty sure that she had valid reasons on needing to eat it that far outweighed Diggle’s own need for it. “I feel like I won it tonight anyways.”

“How?”

“I patrolled my side of the city, talked to some contacts, researched, sent Roy home, got us dinner, AND I’m on my period,” Sara laid it all out there. “And I was still faster than you were…”

“Speed isn’t everything,” Diggle reminded.

Sara smirked. “You’re just saying that because I was speedy.” They both stopped and got a little sad for a moment. Speedy was Oliver’s nickname for Thea and they were both gone (at least for the moment). There was no dwelling on those things, dwelling only led to depression and they just didn’t have the time for that. There was too much to get done and too much to live for. They were going to find an actual lead, which was going to take them to Thea and Felicity and that would mean that Oliver would come home. “Moving on,” she said quickly. “Chinese,” she pointed to the boxes not far from her. “I figured that we’d eat, check on a few more things, then pick up ice cream on the way home.”

“No movie?”

“Is there a movie we wanted to watch?”

Diggle shrugged.

“Helpful.”

“I guess it depends on how long it all takes us…and how many chocolate bars I need to buy from the store later on,” Diggle teased.

Beaming, Sara just moved towards where the Chinese food waited for them. “You know you don’t mind me eating them.”

“True,” he confided. “Though I don’t think that Roy appreciates getting blamed for it.”

“He does EAT them…sometimes…”

“Sometimes.”

Sara shrugged. “Not my fault that I know how to grab it and eat it without him seeing me. He could be three feet away and would never know…”

Smirking, Diggle shook his head. “Things you learned from the League?”

“See…practical uses in everyday life…”

“You probably use it more than fractions.”

“Ha! Probably…”

They started to dive into the Chinese food, switching boxes until they found the correct one. Sara knew that he didn’t care about her eating his chocolate bar, he just liked that he’d caught her red handed. That would be the last time. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	6. Weight and Worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: In the Dark

Four in the morning.

She couldn’t sleep.

It wasn’t that she wasn’t tired because she was exhausted and she KNEW she NEEDED to sleep. Sara just couldn’t. So, she’d stared at John sleeping in their bed. For a long time, she’d stared at him. The tiny stream of moonlight that peeked in between the curtains were her only light in the dark. She looked at him every day and she spent all day with him and yet…she still felt like there were new things she could see in him. 

It seemed like the days just rolled into each other and the time that passed was longer and longer. At first, she'd worried about what John thought of her, but slowly those fears had withered away. Now, she just wondered about them. It was a weird thing for her to think about. She hadn't had too many SERIOUS relationships in her life. It had basically been Oliver and Nyssa. Half of her relationship with Oliver, Sara was fairly serious happened before she and Oliver ever really got together, it was sort of something she'd crushed and thought of in her head before it had happened. Though, it had sort of taken her to Nyssa. Even though the years away from Starling City had been hard and trying, she wouldn't give up those years with Nyssa. Nyssa al Ghul had showed her that she could be loved again and had shown her more than another word and another way of being, she'd shown her a completely different type of love than the one she'd had with Oliver. Then, she'd been with Oliver again...but then it had been different. 

SHE had been different.

All relationships were different. To Sara, she didn't feel like one was BETTER or TRUER, they were just all different. She was a different person at each stage and in each relationship. Things were definitely different with John and she knew that she was so blessed. So, here she was keeping herself up when she really needed to be sleeping and pondering what her relationship might be like with John in the dark.

"How long you going to stare at me?"

A giggle escaped her lips as she reached out and wrapped her arms around him, pulling her closer to him. "I can't help it."

"It's a little creepy."

"Afraid I'm plotting something?" she teased.

"Maybe."

"That's just because I always come up with the more gruesome ways to kill things…"

"That's true… Roy has a REASON to be afraid of you," Digg pointed out.

"I'm not THAT scary."

"Yeah...okay."

They both laughed for a moment before silence filled the space between them.

"What were you really thinking about?" he asked after a moment passed.

Sara wondered if it was that obvious. Was it that obvious or did he just know her that well? She didn't know which one she preferred at that moment. "How did you know?" It wasn't that she didn't want to be truthful with him, she did. After what had happened...after she hadn't come forward and told them that Isabel was Talia...or the danger that they were all in...how Thea and Felicity had been taken...how everything in their life had just shattered. Somehow, she'd picked up the pieces. 

"I know you, Sara," he told her. He rolled onto his side, his arms pulling her until their hips were together. "And I know that if you hold it inside that it's only going to make you more miserable...and it's going to make you snappy."

Sighing, she shook her head. "I was thinking about us," she finally gave up. It was a nice weight to get off us her. "I mean, we haven't really TALKED about it or--"

"Us is something that we've sort of neglected to talk about," Diggle agreed. "We've had more pressing issues at hand…"

It was true. There was a lot. Felicity and Thea were gone...and people had thought the worst. They, however, weren't thinking those same thoughts. Both of them agreed that unless they saw bodies and they were properly buried, they weren't giving up hope. Felicity and Thea were out there, just like Oliver. Sara just hoped that in the meantime...until they found Felicity and Thea...that he didn't go off and make some kind of stupid mistake. 

"Yeah, I know," she said, just sort of brushing it off. It was silly, but she'd been unable to sleep just the same. "It's silly--"

"It's not," John responded nearly instantly. "I just...I mean, there's an us...obviously...I just really didn't think about it… Not that it's not important, I just--"

Sara just smiled. "It's probably really a conversation we should really be having during the day...when we're both more awake."

"You're right," he agreed sleepily. "And we will. In the morning. After coffee."

Leaning in, she kissed him. "It's a date," she whispered before settling down into his arms. 

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


	7. Clothes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts: Illusions

"You do realize that you can leave stuff here. I cleaned you out some space so you can actually have clothes here," Diggle told her.

Sara just smirked and then shook her head at him as she pulled the black tank top over her head as she continued to get dressed. "Do you think that I just keep wearing the same thing over and over again without washing it?"

He seemed to think about that for a moment. "I swear you've worn that small shirt every other day and it's either those black pants or jeans." Diggle paused for a moment. "I haven't seen you do any laundry--"

Laughter sprouted from her before she could let him continue. "John, do you think I smell?" she teased. She couldn't just let it go. It wasn't in her nature and this was just too good.

"Wha--I mean, yes...but not in a bad way...I just meant that--"

She laughed more and he just stared at her. Sara pulled on her jeans and just wickedly grinned at him. "I was part of the League of Assassins, don't you think that I could maybe do a load of laundry without you realizing it?"

Diggle just stared at her.

"I also know how to use a bathroom to wash and dry my clothes, if I need," Sara explained. She paused for a moment. "Though, I really don't have that much...and what I do have...is pretty much all the same." She moved over to the drawer that Diggle told her that she could use and she knew that he hadn't touched since then. Sara pulled it open to reveal that it was stocked with a handful of items, which included another pair of jeans and two other black tank tops. "I guess I'm not too big on variety...or color…"

"You're too used to being able to travel with all you have, if you need to," John told her. It wasn't an accusation as much as a statement and revelation. 

And he was right.

She hadn't really thought about that, mostly because it hadn't bothered her. She was okay with just having a couple of days' worth of clothes, plus jeans lasted more than a day as long as you weren't rolling around in the dirt or mucking through sewers. "I guess you're right," Sara whispered. The smile dropped from her face. "It's like an illusion of being a real person...having clothes in that drawer."

"You ARE a real person," Diggle reminded gently.

Sara looked at him. He was so incredibly sweet. "I haven't really felt...settled...like I'm putting down roots since before the Gambit," she admitted. "Maybe I've been too scared."

Maybe that was why she only had one real bra.

"You know you don't have to be scared with me."

And she knew that.

"We're going to find them...we'll get them all home," Diggle said confidently. "Things will go back to normal, settle down, and then you'll see...you're home...you can put down roots." He looked towards the drawer. "And you can buy something more than a black tank top and a pair of jeans."

"Never really needed more than that."

"There's more to life, Sara," Diggle promised.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

TBC…


End file.
